Many are used to thinking about religion as a process of constantly trying to align the life one lives with their inner spirituality. Such alignment often falls short, but that fall is itself deemed to be part of the process. There will never be a perfect alignment between the external and the spiritual, but we strive to get it as close as possible and allow the tension felt int he gaps to itself be a welcome part of the experience.
That’s how the religious life was explained to me by numerous teachers and is consistent with much of Rav Soloveitchik’s writings, even if it would not be worded in exactly that way. The upshot is that religious tension or discomfort is not a bug but a natural feature of attempting to really be religious while still participating in the world around us in the fullest way.
One exception to this rule, at least as always presented to me, was Rav Avraham Yitzchak Ha-Kohen Kook. Rav Kook was always taught as a figure who embodied the hidden unity and synthesis that underlies all apparent contradictions. He was presented as a figure whose essence was at peace and who thus was able to unify all around him into a singular Torah-inspired vision.
Hadarav: His Inner Chambers (Maggid Books, 2024) calls that all into question. The volume is a collection of excerpts from Rav Kook’s private journals, originally edited by Ran Sarid and newly translated by Rabbi Bezalel Naor. The latter is known to be Rav Kook’s most dedicated, passionate, and faithful translator into the English language. His previous translations of Rav Kook’s works are all phenomenal and highly recommended, but this one hits differently due to showing a different side of Rav Kook than most are used to. As the back of the book reads, Rav Kook’s “gnawing doubts and perplexities on the one hand, and his epiphanies and gracious illuminations on the other, should resonate with and serve as inspiration to journeyers wending their way through the labyrinth of the soul.”
From the outset, one might complain that the entries in the volume are not presented in the order in which they were written. Some might think this diminishes the value in reading the work since the development of Rav Kook’s thought is not visible. It was, however, done this way on purpose. In Sarid’s words, “the contents of the book are constructed as a continuum. The guiding principle is the journey from the interior to the exterior; from the inner world of the soul to the ways in which it expresses itself in the life of the individual and the collective.”
The volume deals largely with the inner experience of Rav Kook’s soul, revealing his inner need for internal clarity, intellectual honesty, and integrity. “How can I say things to others, if I don’t say a thing to my soul? How can I opine on the spiritual and material world if I do not seek a key to the treasures in my midst?” Indeed, the need to truly know himself was no less than a spiritual priority for Rav Kook:
Is it possible that I shall not find that which I seek, when my quest flows from the depths of truth?! And what do I seek if not myself, my true essence - not my material or spiritual garments. All these acquisitions; let them come and serve the essence. But if the essence, my essence, is beyond me, of what avail are all the gadgets? And this is the point of gravity of the inner desire, which requires true courage in order to demand it. The constant striving to find my essence is also the root in relation to the existence, in its inwardness and expansiveness. And this is the gate to the Lord: to find the eternal objective, which is to say, the Eternal God, the source of all objectives, Whom every soul desires, and outside of Whom there is nothing to seek.
And behold, this is the purest, simplest characteristic that occupies the spirit and prevents the inner inclinations of the soul from finding their path, as long as the essential objective is not based on the soulful foundation of all life’s movements. And towards this end comes all the study, all the educated activism, and all the myriad movements of the soul in life, in humanity, and in the world.
This literal soul-searching is inspired by the inherent internal pull towards divinity that many feel. But this evidently led Rav Kook to profound pain when he was unable to unite his internal thirst for God with that which was external to his soul - in both the physical and mental realms. “My broken, depressed heart, my inclination to sadness, comes about because I do not find satisfaction in anything in the world, only in the illumination of the light of God, the holy manifestation of the pleasantness of the Lord.” And further:
Expanses, expanses, divine expanses, my soul desires. Do not enclose me in any cage, neither physical nor spiritual. My soul sails the wide heavens; she cannot be contained by the walls of the heart, nr by the walls of action, ethics, logic, and politesse. Above all of these [my soul] sails and flies, above all that may be called by any name; higher than any joy, pleasantness, and beauty; higher than all that is exalted. “I am lovesick.”
But this is Rav Kook! Surely he would still find joy in Torah learning in these moments of melancholy? Apparently not!
My soul cannot bury itself in any materialization, even a materialization of Torah or a materialization of fear of heaven - as long as they are not sublimated; [as long as they] are not purified by the longing of the pure soul, by the purity of the soul’s awareness and inner longing. All that is refined, all that is exalted, all that is sacred - all is included in this penetrating desire, which is a fearsome thirst that “my soul thirsts for God, for the Living God.”
The next step is to attempt to actualize this thirst through vocalization, but this is easier said than done. In Rav Kook’s words,
The heart yearns to originate, to originate without letup, to originate in a flowing manner, because so is the nature of the soul that flows like a stream. And who holds [it] up? Introductions, information, propositions, conventions. All of these are peripheral; in no way are they capable of holding back the race of the spirit. Furthermore, the spirit, at the crest of its waves, cannot be detained anymore by these acquisitions; [cannot allow them] to take control of its enterprise. [The spirit] must move its storms; must push its suns and stars which carry the weight of the world, and require constant motion at a fast pace, without cease, without obstacles.
It is, however, through the various imperfections that one experiences that they are able to rise above in the way that God intends:
Not for nothing did God of all the souls plant in me the constant passion for all that is hidden, for all that is exalted and lofty; and not for nothing did He bring me to the Land of Israel; and not for nothing did He form in me a spirit of courage and an inner purity. Though I am surrounded by weaknesses and failures without number - more than all the masses and ordinary students of Torah, and perhaps more than all the spiritual types, gentle of spirit and sensitive to the stirrings of the soul. All of these [qualities] were planted in my midst in order to use them to enlighten the world, to create a literature full of the light of the mysteries of the Torah, popular and accessible to all, fill of song and strength, fortified with sound logic and faithful criticism, to “lift up a horn” (ie, to strengthen) for the people of the Lord and for the salvation of the world - that has begun to shine for it in the Land of Israel.
Just as we now recognize Rav Kook as a master of Aggadah, he too recognized that in himself:
If by nature I am a master of Aggadah and a master of mysteries, I should not be so envious of the exoteric portions, the Halakhah. Nevertheless, I am also called to these obligations, for not for nothing did the Lord bestow upon me talent in [those exoteric portions] as well. But I must know my measure, so that I won’t be saddened by my small portion of the exoteric. Even though in the Aggadah and the esoteric I am also much impoverished, nevertheless, I must be strong, because the reason for my lack is the many facets that are constantly pilling me in different directions. Therefore, it is my character to taste a little of each thing. And if I am weaker in the exoteric and the laws (halakhot), what causes this is my inner gravitation to Aggadah and the esoteric. My power in this [field] is especially noticeable at a time of sudden speech with worthy individuals, and at every time of spiritual arousal, when I find myself some hidden treasure, which must provide me with comfort even in the time of eclipse and great darkness.
In combatting this, Rav Kook provides perhaps the darkest glimpse into his soul:
I am lacking the natural self-love that is appropriate, something that for all people is a strong, permanent nature. And for this reason, I am lacking several useful elements that flow from the source of strong self-love. So, I need to acquire all [this] through a conscious effort, by internalizing the power of love for all within my individual soul. Because of my great spiritual thirst; also because of some defects that I need to fix in order that the neshamah will illuminate well my ru’ah and nefesh - I need much enlightenment of inner concepts through philosophy and Kabbalah, through study and thought. I don’t always find the pleasantness of Torah in the exoteric portions, in the Talmud and the halakhic codes. Nevertheless, I must prod myself to hold on to the exoteric - both superficial study and in=-depth study - and to come up with novel ideas, for, thank the Lord, I have a gift for originality - whether it be in Halakhah or Aggadah - in all the levels of PaRDeS (Peshat, Remez, Derash, Sod).
I also need to study in a broadminded manner other sciences and expand my feeling for all the new conceptions of natural renascence and building of the Land [of Israel] and awareness of the salvation being performed for Israel through the growth of the Yishuv of the Land of Israel in our day. In general, I need to greatly broaden my mind, and I need not fear at all freedom of spirit.
IT was, indeed, through embracing that call to study such varied subjects, that Rav Kook came to be the thinker we all know him as through the writings that were more publicly available until now. As he comes to write,
It is very difficult for me to engage strictly in matters of Halakhah, or strictly in matters of Aggadah; strictly in exoterica, or strictly in esoterica. Similarly, it is difficult for me to incline strictly to simple faith (emunah peshutah), or strictly to philosophy (mekhar) and logic. And so it goes for strict isolation versus strict socializing. For all the streams control me: faith and philosophy; nationalism and morality; Halakhah and Aggadah; the exoteric and the esoteric; criticism and poetry. I must absorb everything. And out of the unity of the heights above, I advance to truly cleave to the Lord, and raise up the holy light of Ecclesia Israel (Knesset Yisrael) in thought and deed to the source of her life. I dream great dreams. I ascend to the skies. There is no stopping my imagination and my permanent aspiration. I forever long to cling to the fortune and to the good, to purity and to holiness. The pure nature of the creation, of the nation, of man, of the hour, of eternity; what surrounds [the pure nature], and what pervades all the contents of its life - this is the joy of my life.
And it is indeed through this joy that all ultimately comes together;
I am not able to restrict myself to one subject, to one thing, to one level and one style, for I need to draw upon all the styles, all the subjects, all the levels, all the things. And if I see one way that is good in my eyes and wish to follow it exclusively, I see after how all the other ways ask of me their role. I need to dig and drink water from my well, a well of living waters; from the portion of Torah that is in my soul; from my particular letter [of the Torah] that all the letters in the Torah come to me through this conduit; and the entire world and all its affairs relate to me according to this content. I need to receive all the floods of lights with a simple heart, with an upright spirit, with a contrite soul, with strength and holy joy. Though [the lights] come to me in a very scattered state, eventually they will unite
The above quotes, which hopefully come together to present a consistent narrative of Rav Kook’s spiritual experience, are only a small fraction of the material in Hadarav. For every quote I provided, there are at least 10-15 more on these subjects revealing sides of Rav Kook that English-readers would never have been exposed to before.
One must ask, though, is this not too deep of a look into Rav Kook? Does this not turn him into a smaller figure for whom religious unity did not come as easily as perceived through his more familiar writings? Rather than diminish Rav Kook in my eyes, these passages have helped me to appreciate him all the more as a figure who was not without his complexity, a figure whose sense of unity in everything took work and who had to push himself to embrace certain areas of study that he may not otherwise have wanted to. In rendering Rav Kook more relatable, Hadarav also allows those who felt that they could never learn from someone so exalted to finally feel that they can reach him and truly learn from his Torah.
The book is also bilingual, allowing readers to compare Naor’s translation with Rav Kook’s original poetic language as well as to see how the original journal concepts may have been edited into more familiar works of Rav Kook. Overall, I cannot recommend picking up a copy of Hadarav more.
Thank you for this and I was sort of hoping you’d write a review, Rabbi Goltib.